Press Kit 


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Fact Sheet

Developer: Mega Cat Studios

Release Date: December 2016

Platforms: Sega Genesis, PC

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Coffee Crisis is a sweeping classic beat ‘em up that pays homage to the era of Streets of Rage, Turtles in Time, and arcade quality action with a 16 bit aesthetic. Driving that focus home, Coffee Crisis has a Sega Genesis release in physical form that plays on hardware in addition to a full PC release.

“Stop the Smurglians and save the Earth!”, is the theme behind this exciting Sega Genesis throwback. The Smurgelian race has arrived and they're not leaving until they steal Earth’s four most prized commodities: its metal music, the best coffee, cat videos, and all of the Wi-Fi. Players can challenge the attacking aliens through unique and innovative levels inspired by real-life locations. Retro enthusiasts as well as newbies can join Black Forge Coffeehouse baristas Nick and Ashley, two galaxy gladiators called to arms to stop this madness and remove the Smurglian threat from Earth. 

The story behind Mega Cat Studios is a simple one. A small team of passionate people, caked in video game nostalgia, banded together and locked arms to create what many modern gamers never knew was possible, let alone relevant - to make new video games for old consoles. Recapturing that familiar feeling often referred to as “classic” and “old school” in our games is an important part of Mega Cat Studios.


Meet the Cast

Skinny Chestknee


Likes: Dog, Truck, Wife, and Acoustic Guitars.

Hates: Business Casual, Microbrews, and Sedans.

Wants: His dog, truck, and wife back.

Job: Country Magnate.

Motto: “Any hard workin', barrel racin', truck drivin', horse trainin' 'murican can have a drink on me.  The rest of ya, prepare for war!”

Bio: Having found success in the world of Country Music, Skinny sets his tour ablaze with his dedicated followers who will trash and thrash any major city they tailgate.  Avid Facebook other social groups protest Mr. Chestknee but their plights are muffled by the sweet, sweet sound of his hybrid of country and good-nature rock anthems.



Likes: His power suit, telling people about his power suit.

Hates: Needing a power suit to compensate for his dull home life, being disrespected.

Wants: To destroy the Barista's so that he can rub it in the faces of anyone who's ever made fun of him.

Job: Power Suit Operator for a construction crew.

Motto: "Have I shown you my power suit?"

Bio: Gibletor has had a pretty run of the mill life on his home, alien planet…but he's always dreamed of more.  After being picked on relentlessly by his peers for having an unremarkable life despite owning his very own power suit, he has vowed to deal the crushing blow to the Baristas.  That will show ‘em! 



Likes: Martial law, torture, blasting things with lasers, conquering new planets.

Dislikes: Peaceful protest, resistance, humans, soft animals.

Wants: The complete domination of the human race and a kick-ass party play list.

Job: Overlord of the Smurglian army.

Motto: "First I will take their music, then their world will me mine! ...I mean ours!"

Bio: General Duke leads the invasion against the humans.  He is as brutal as he is aggressive.  Rumor among his ranks is that he plans on taking all of Earth's best metal musicians and forcing them to form a super group to record the soundtrack to Earth’s destruction.


Ma and Pa Kettlecorn


Likes: The Golden Oldies.

Dislikes: Everyone and everything else.

Wants: Reaganomics to make an aggressive return.

Job: Both retired, permanent complainers.

Motto: "Get off our music! Turn down that lawn!"

Bio: Having dabbled in experimental cloning, the Kettlecorns find solace and comfort in everything that happened in their respective past - before Metal exploded their eardrums.  Angered and frustrated by today's young whippersnappers, the Kettlecorn's use the experimental cloning technology they found in a newspaper to wreak havoc on disrespecting children.  This dream was dashed once their clones were possessed by aliens who wish to control that music which the Kettlecorns so desperately hate.


Security Guard

Likes: [Classified]

Dislikes: Line cutters, people that say they are on the list but aren't.

Job: Door guy.

Motto: "No tickets. No entry."

Bio: Little is known about these secret agents.  Some believe they are truly here to protect and serve the general public while others feel they have an ulterior motive behind impeding the baristas on their earth-saving quest.  Either way their presence alone means trouble for both the invading aliens and our heroes.


The Bros

Likes: Beer, girls, tailgating, parties, lifted trucks, red bull, video games, their parents' money.

Dislikes: Hangovers, buzzkills, punks, nerds, early morning classes, having to work for anything.

Wants: This to be the best summer ever.

Job: "My dad is so rich."


Bio: Chad, Brad, and Tad are all legacy students at a local university.  They were in tailgating at the Skinny Chestknee concert when General Duke and his men took over the minds of all of the humans in the area even though they had no intentions of actually attending the show.


Chloe & Zoey

Likes: Pumpkin spice lattes, Ugg boots, ladies night, independence from their fathers.

Dislikes: Being told what to do, losing at beer pong, their best friend.

Wants: Respect, lifted trucks, bath bombs, to be a mermaid.

Job: Professional student.

Motto: “Shut up!”

Bio: Sorority sisters Chloe and Zoey have been together since being in high school, and wish nothing more than to start a company together doing...something...for animals.



Likes: Fun size probes, monocles, store brand eye drops, and just being included in things.

Dislikes: Indirect eye contact.

Wants: Elevator shoes, hair plugs, and to hang out with Chad, Brad, and Tad.

Job: Shoe deodorizer at local alien bowling alley “Black Hole Lanes”.

Motto: “Eyes up here.”

Bio: Sherman gives it his all despite his vertical and social shortcomings.  Finally someone has saw his potential and got him away from all those smelly bowling shoes.  Whether he captures some baristas or not, he’s just glad you invited him to the party.


Al Iain

Likes: Non-profit organizations, single speed UFOs, bands you never heard of, 8-track cassettes.

Dislikes: High tech probes and nu-probing enthusiasts.  (He was probing before it was cool.)

Wants: To show you his 8-track collection.

Job: Owns his own vintage probe repair shop.

Motto: “Check out my hand crank probe, very rare.”

Bio: Fed up with abductions, this alien moved on from his noted trade years ago and explored his real passion by opening a vintage probe repair shop.  He’s hoping to expand his store and start selling 8-track cassettes.  In exchange for participating in the war, General Duke agreed to let him keep all the 8-tracks he can fit in his single speed UFO.


Hell Face

Likes: Working in unison, talking in the 3rd person.

Dislikes: Aliens who leave one cube of ice in the ice tray.

Wants: To assimilate all beings into one entity..

Job: Bookkeeper and WiFi password cracker.

Bio: The amalgamation of ancient alien overlords, Hell Face acts as a single mind.  It is obsessed with the will of the alien colony.  However, other than that, very little is known about this being.


Duke Tailgator

Likes: Star Trek (except Deep Space 9), country music, video games, Red Bull, his bros.

Dislikes: Facebook, libtards, his step dad, his name, metal music, coffee enthusiasts.

Wants: To meet his real dad and to get back home to his bros so they can play Call of Duty and lay down some serious pwnage.

Job: Collecting gibs.

Motto: “Get pwnd.”

Bio: Luke was assigned this job after he won a planet wide Call of Duty tournament and now he has to aid in the abduction of everything he hates.  He plans to max out his K/D ratio and make sure no barista or metal head makes it back to his beloved home planet.


Darth Brooks

Likes: Star Wars (except episodes 1-3), country music, rolling up his proverbial sleeves, his 20-something girlfriend.

Dislikes: His awful ex, Jar Jar Binks, wasted tax dollars on pointless invasions, damn video games.

Wants: To reconnect with his son, get his ex off his back, to retire somewhere tropical.

Job: Shift manager at the probe plant.

Motto: “Measure once, cut twice.”

Bio: Darth just found out that his biological son was sent to Earth to abduct Earth musicians.  Sounds like another one of The Overlord’s bullcrap excuse to waste hardworking taxpayers dollars.  Darth also just found out that his son plays video games.  It’s probably his ex’s fault for not letting him play Smurball!


Crazy Yinzer

Likes: Tinfoil (it keeps the aliens from reading your thoughts), The X-Files, Yuengling beer, Heinz ketchup, perogies, putting french fries on his sandwich, the Steelers.

Dislikes: Aliens reading his thoughts, Phillies fans, hipsters, Google, the New World Order.

Wants: You to believe his abduction story.

Motto: “No, I'm not a hamster.”

Bio: He tried to warn you, but you wouldn’t listen.  Aliens are real.  Lucky for you he know’s all their weaknesses.  Quick, put on this tin foil hat!


Ashley Corts

Likes: Her french bulldog Dallas, black coffee, black clothes, cigarettes, metal music, video games, the band Glassjaw, vinyl records, arts and crafts.

Dislikes: People who put cream in their coffee, country music, bros, rude people, aliens that try to take away her metal music.

Wants: Every version of Sleep’s Dopesmoker ever printed on vinyl.

Motto: “My dad is cooler than your dad.”

Bio: Probably the most metal and toughest barista the planet Earth has.  After years of working in the music business she decided to open up her own business with her best friend, now aliens want to take that away from her.  The Smurglians picked the wrong cafe to bust up.


Nick Miller

Likes: Going to shows, playing guitar, black coffee, black clothes, metal music, the band Glassjaw, The Devil’s Lettuce, craft beer, video games, sensory deprivation tanks, a good pun, podcasts, a well made bed.

Dislikes: Bad tippers, country music, the band Nickelback, Bud Light, people that post poorly researched articles on Facebook, bad times.

Wants: To play doom (the music genre), to open a bigger venue - one with beer, SUNN amps, Fuzz pedals, good times.

Motto: “Play louder!”

Bio: Fueled by metal music this barista just wants to own the most badass venue this world has ever saw.  After years on the road and getting sick of dead end bartending jobs he put every cent he had into opening a metal cafe with his best friend.  He’s not going to let some lame poser aliens swoop in and destroy his dream.



  • Hand-drawn, technical specification 16-bit art.  A true labor of love!
  • Coffee Crisis captures the essence of classic arcade beat ‘em ups and actually adhere to the exact technical specifications of that era, including a cartridge release for the Sega Genesis.
  • Amazing soundtrack with remastered chiptunes by metal heroes Greywalker!
  • Crazy bosses and lovable characters showcase the humor and styling any player can enjoy.
  • Coffee Crisis is fun for fun’s sake.  Whether it’s the campy dialogue with the invading aliens, or the trippy boss battles, the fun starts and doesn’t stop.
  • Perfect your beat ‘em up skills with action packed moves.
  • Protect the Earth’s most valuable commodities: WiFi, coffee, and metal, by kicking alien butt!
  • 8 action-packed levels!
  • 1 or 2 player beat ‘em up action.
  • Game Pad & Linux support for the PC.