The StoryThe great cover up!
Bateman Hills is a sunny town with a thriving lumber and mayo industry, attractive beaches, and gorgeous forests. However, all of this sleepy charm disguises a dark secret.
There are many murderous stories that never hit the front pages of the Bateman Hills Observer, but live as whispers among the town's inhabitants. Far more than local legends, these occurrences are the work of Mayor Bateman. The town takes its name from his lumberjack ancestor, and Mayor Bateman will stop at nothing to ensure that his community’s reputation remains pristine.
However, sins do no stay buried, and the mound of murdered and forgotten bodies has grown too large. These wronged souls have returned from the grave to bring the truth behind their deaths to life.
Desperate to keep his wicked deeds a secret, the Mayor makes a deal with the deceased: defeat his champions in the log jamming tournament, and not only can they reveal his actions to the world, but he will surrender his beloved town to them. But if they lose, these vengeful spirits must serve as exhibits in a new haunted hotel tourist attraction, further adding to Bateman Hills’s appeal. With a chance to reveal the truth in the balance, the undead agree.
Find some flannel and pack your adrenaline for this action-packed, horror sports tragedy. The stakes are high, and the multi-species cheerleaders are jumping higher.
- Blade Tossing, axe-catching carnage
- Choose a timber beast with a level of speed, technique, and swoleness that suits your play style
- Funky arenas like a mayonnaise factory spill, 80s hell, and a peaceful beaver pond.
- Colorful characters, like Bruiser Bogardus, the strong man who makes exercise equipment out of wood, or the Mayonnaise Monsoon, a bloated corpse who died in an industrial accident
- A physical cartridge NES version for hardcore fans and retro enthusiasts!
- Storage 320MB | RAM - 512MB | GPU - 2 GB VRAM | CPU - 2.6 GHz
- Steam | Linux | Xbox
lumberjacks, surfers, and mayo, oh my
Bateman Hills’s pride and glory, Francis believes that the claims of the undead are unfounded. A hometown hero athlete, she will stop at nothing to protect her community and its unsullied reputation.
Zombie Jack is in Bateman Hills to chop down some of its legendary Borden Birches when the undead assault begins. As a defender of humanity, and for the opportunity to stop his arch nemesis Zombear in the competition, he bravely enters the fray.
An immortal beast that has been resurrected many times. He is Zombie Jack’s arch enemy and the pair have stalked each other through many forests and glens. However, Zombear was originally killed in a forest fire that the Mayor started with illegal fireworks from a town celebration. He has returned to Bateman Hills for vengeance.
Mayo was once an employee of Bateman Hills Mayo Co, but fell from an unsafe catwalk into a vat of product. The company's execs were golf buddies with the Mayor, and a few greased palms kept the accident a secret. Mayo has big plans for the Mayor, and Bateman Hills, if he wins.
An 80's musician whose constant partying disturbed the peace and quiet of Bateman Hills. The Mayor could not stand this nuisance, and made sure that the musician took a tumble from a hotel window. Sparerib is back to continue his world tour.
One of the town's resident vagrants who was crushed by logs in a freak explosion at the Lincoln Timber Company. In reality, the Mayor had orchestrated this accident to clear the town of its undesirable hobo population. These slimy sins must be brought to light.
Rad is a local beach bum and the son of Sheriff Thad Carlton, Mayor Bateman's enforcer in many of his misdeeds. The Mayor has blackmailed Rad with a local ordinance, which will prohibit surfing at Rad's favorite spots unless he hangs ten in the tournament.
Strongman Bruiser trains in one of the original log cabins left behind by Bateman Hill's lumberjack founders. The Mayor has promised to fund production of Bruiser's handmade and wood-carved exercise equipment if he can strongarm the competition.