Bateman Hills is a sunny town with a thriving lumber and mayo industry, attractive beaches, and gorgeous forests. The community started out as a lumberjack camp in the 1800s, and today is a trendy tourist town, drawing crowds from all over, especially with its Heritage Days Lumberjack Log Jamming Tournament. However, all of this sleepy charm disguises a dark secret.

There are many stories that never hit the front pages of the Bateman Hills Observer, but live as whispers among the town's inhabitants. For example, there’s the one about the guy who fell into a vat at the mayo plant and was never seen again, or the party-hard musician who conveniently fell out of a window.

Far more than local legends, these occurrences are the work of Mayor Bateman. The town takes its name from his lumberjack ancestor, and Mayor Bateman will stop at nothing to ensure that his community’s reputation remains pristine.

However, sins do no stay buried, and the mound of murdered and forgotten bodies has grown too large. These wronged souls have returned from the grave to bring the truth behind their deaths to life.

Desperate to keep his wicked deeds a secret, the Mayor makes a deal with the deceased: defeat his champions in the Log Jamming Tournament, and not only can they reveal his actions to the world, but he will surrender his beloved town to them. But if they lose, these vengeful spirits must serve as exhibits in a new haunted hotel tourist attraction, further adding to Bateman Hills’s appeal. With a chance to reveal the truth in the balance, the undead agree.

Let's Jam.


There are those that have come to face old grudges. Some have returned for justice. Others have been coerced into competing. Whatever their reasons, these gladiators have come to the ring seeking more than victory.

Mayo Monsoon

Mayo was once an employee of the Bateman Hills Mayo Co, but fell from an unsafe catwalk into a vat of product. The company's execs were golf buddies with the Mayor, and a few greased palms kept the accident a secret. Mayo has big plans for the Mayor, and Bateman Hills, if he wins.


An immortal beast that has been resurrected many times. He is Zombie Jack’s arch enemy and the pair have stalked each other through many forests and glens. However, Zombear was originally killed in a forest fire that the Mayor started with illegal fireworks from a town celebration. He has returned to Bateman Hills for vengeance.

Bruiser Bogardus

Strongman Bruiser trains in one of the original log cabins left behind by Bateman Hill's lumberjack founders. The Mayor has promised to fund production of Bruiser's handmade and wood-carved exercise equipment if he can strongarm the competition

Hot Foot Francis

Bateman Hills’s pride and glory, Francis believes that the claims of the undead are unfounded. A hometown hero athlete, she will stop at nothing to protect her community and its unsullied reputation.

Zombie Jack

Zombie Jack is in Bateman Hills to chop down some of its legendary Borden Birches when the undead assault begins. As a defender of humanity, and for the opportunity to stop his arch nemesis Zombear in the competition, he bravely enters the fray.

Ollie Oilsack

One of the town's resident vagrants who was crushed by logs in a freak explosion at the Lincoln Timber Company. In reality, the Mayor had orchestrated this accident to clear the town of its undesirable hobo population. These slimy sins must be brought to light.

Rad Carlton

Rad is a local beach bum and the son of Sheriff Thad Carlton, Mayor Bateman's enforcer in many of his misdeeds. The Mayor has blackmailed Rad with a local ordinance, which will prohibit surfing at Rad's favorite spots unless he hangs ten in the tournament.

Sparerib Boneaparte

An 80's musician whose constant partying disturbed the peace and quiet of Bateman Hills. The Mayor could not stand this nuisance, and made sure that the musician took a tumble from a hotel window. Sparerib is back to continue his world tour.


During the Bateman Hills Heritage Days Lumberjack Log Jamming Tournament, the whole town and the surrounding area are dedicated to feats of lumberjack action. With this year’s slew of spectral entrants, the variety in locales has expanded into all manner of otherworldly offerings!

Mayo Spill

The mayonnaise industry is thriving in Bateman Hills, and this factory runs day and night to turn out creamy, spreadable goodness. However, one of the storage vats here was once the tomb of hapless employee who fell from a catwalk, who now has risen for revenge...

Sylvan River

Near a copse of Borden Birches, this river used to be a busy log shipping station back when the town was just a lumberjack work site. Zombie Jack’s ties to the ancient forestry arts have drawn him here, and it is where he sharpens his axe-throwing skills.

Bodhi Beach

Bateman Hills is a popular tourist attraction, and sunny beaches like this make it easy to see why. Fully-stocked coolers, boardwalk treats, and killer waves make this one of Rad’s favorite surf spots. It’d be a shame if the Mayor implemented a bogus No Surfing injunction here…most unrighteous.

Grizzly Grave

Some bears get lucky, and go to Bear Heaven when they die, full of pots of honey, leaping salmon, and porridge that is juuuusst right. Others are punished for an eternity in a scorching lake of fire and sorrow, surrounded by ursine sinners who have committed nefandous deeds.

Hood Waste

This eyesore district is home to Bateman Hills's population of vagrants and drifters. In a bid to increase the town's tourist attraction profile, the Mayor once tried to clandestinely demolish this entire neighborhood with a log explosion at the Lincoln Timber Company.

Community Pool

The centerpiece of many summer activities and birthday parties, the community pool is a town favorite. Just be sure to bring your own inner tube, or risk contracting a gnarly rash from one of Bateman Hill’s funkier residents.

Bone Pile

Life after death for Sparerib Boneaparte was a lot like life before death: zebra-print spandex, video games, pyrotechnics, stage lighting, and a screaming audience of crazed fans..

Bogardus Bog

Surrounded by hand-carved exercise equipment, this swamp is the perfect place to activate beast mode. Whether it’s Pine Tree Pull-Ups, Dogwood Deadlifts, or Cedar Squats, this swamp has something to offer everyone who is serious about getting ripped.