Retro Games Are for Lovers
This Valentine’s Day, Mega Cat Studios has 14% off all orders with the coupon code LUSTYMEAT. This discount code ends Friday, but there’s plenty of time to break some hearts and make some memories with 8 & 16 Bit dessert
A curated list of examples and suggestions are below, for new games and old, to celebrate this exciting day.
The Player's Kit
Mayo seen above for reference only. Disclaimer: This is not representative of Mayo’s character, and is a work of fiction.
V-Day is the most romantic day of the year. So what's a Casanova supposed to do when he has to spread that romance among a handful of Player 2s? Give your ladies the classic log jam jive, that's what.
Whether you have a ton of Tinder pals, a score of side chicks or you're just running around with your attractive and logistically sympatico neighbor, keeping everyone satisfied is hard work. That's why the Player's Kit is here to help. With Log Jammers, you'll be able to play the same game over and over again, swapping out opponents with ease. There's no long-term commitment here: just intense bouts of guilt-free, sweaty, log-jamming action. You can also call each date by their character's name, which has several perks in and of itself: roleplaying becomes additionally exciting and you can call them by their character name if you forget their real ones.
Kit Includes: 1 copy of Log Jammers for the NES
Are the coffee stains a heart? Suggestive buttocks? Will they be removed with a magic eraser, or will the magic eraser remove the finish again? Is anyone reading this?
Just Add: 1 bottle of champagne or coffee
Sometimes you save the princess, or the princess saved you. Sometimes there’s no princess at all, just a couple of Zombears enjoying this day together. Sometimes things get spicy and Bowser saves Toad and….. - either way, you're blessed with a real-life player 2. Take a quest together to save the galaxy in Coffee Crisis, or, test the limits with some two-player Justice Duel. Nothing says ‘til death do us part like testing the limits when the stakes are high: bet household chores with a round of button mashing, or spice up your love life with some suggestive, mech-eagle cosplaying.
No one has to be a loser on this night!
Pro tip: Stretch and relax your airways to get limber before any suggestive maneuvering. Bring forth children into the world 9 months from this day, and there's at least one free game in it for you.
Although not as good as some couch co-op fun, the right game can still make a single-player feel great.
Kit Includes: Creepy Brawlers
Just Add: An NES Console with no more than one controller
Clear liquor, preferably in a plastic jug
If shrimp flavored Ramen (splurge, and treat yourself, so bust out that Sriracha and give it some flavor) is on the menu tonight, we’ve got the perfect post-dinner activity. After all, it's your special time to celebrate the relationship that brings the most happiness to your existence.
Punish yourself with Creepy Brawlers, because chances are you'll never get past the third fight. If you do, the plastic bottle of booze will give you the company you want and need on this lonely, exhilarating night.
Pro Tip: I saw on Reddit last week that Pornhub sorts the "Hottest" videos by the last video a viewer opens before closing the tab. Huh.
Sweethearts that play together, stay together. There's chemistry between you both, whether it started as a lusty pun on Tinder, or you're Creepin' up on engagement. No reservations this year? No problem. Invest in something long term, something real, a symbol of your love for one another with a Mega Cat date night package. There are many, many things great about the utility of a Toga, rather than regular sweatpants and a t-shirt, but nothing gets you in the mood like having unfettered access to your date's body
Kit Includes: Little Medusa
Just Add: Kamasutra (I recommend Yoga Vidya's version here: http://yogavidya.com/Yoga/Kamasutra.pdf)
Toga sheet (See how simple: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_4hWqIW --rQ)
Icy Hot (Not as an adventurous lubricant, just as a means to soothe the pain you'll inevitably be dealing with tomorrow.)
Pro Tip: Stretch your hamstrings and crack your knuckles, this isn't going to end well. Icy Hot will not, however, help with the burns to your ego after you rage quit Little Medusa.
"Joking aside, here at Mega Cat we love the retro gaming community and all the support they've given us through the years. Whoever you are, we wish you a happy Valentine's Day